18 November 2009

Rules for a Perfect Family Christmas

When John Lewis asked me to write my 'rules' for a perfect family Christmas I was delighted.

I love John Lewis, it's my favourite shop (and I'm not just saying that because they're sending me a voucher)!

For all of my adult life I have shopped at John Lewis. I used to go to the Milton Keynes store for my Christmas shopping. When I worked near the Welwyn Garden City store I would go there in my lunch hour. The only item on our wedding list was John Lewis vouchers. For the record we mainly bought white goods. I bought all my baby things from the Kingston store when we lived in Surrey. Now we have moved to Preston and I've started the big countdown. John Lewis Preston opens in 2012! Until then I shop online, a lot. It's free delivery on everything too.

So, the rules...


The children must stay in their bedrooms until Mummy and Daddy get the video camera running downstairs to record the wide-eyed Santa sack reaction.

There will be at least one potato in each child's Santa sack. Each potato represents a toy that Santa took out of their sack when they were naughty.

Each child must share their chocolate with Mummy and Daddy.

The Christmas Meal

We will all remember our table manners as we enjoy a long, leisurely lunch.

We will eat a roast dinner, with all the trimmings. There must be a sprout on every plate for decoration. Mummy will eat the seventeen remaining sprouts. Yum.

Mummy and Daddy will drink champagne and eat Rennies for the rest of the day.

The In-Laws

We will all go to the In-Laws for Boxing Day. Mummy and Daddy can relax and eat an enormous meal that they didn't have to cook, The children can eat as much chocolate as they like and play with Grandma and Grandad.


We will slouch on the couch, still wearing our paper hats, and watch a family film. The film will have been highlighted in our copy of the Christmas Radio Times.


Mummy will decorate the tree with a lifetime of Christmases. Each decoration tells a story. There is the koala fairy from Australia, the wooden kiwi from New Zealand, the candy canes that she bought from Poundstretcher twenty years ago that the cats used to hide down the back of the sofa. There is the enamelled penguin and the gold dragonfly that we bought for Presley's first Christmas and the knitted owl and charity teddy we bought for Cash's first Christmas.

I love Christmas!

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  1. LOL at the potato, not sure if that's cruel or not but I like it! You have reminded me to add Rennie to the list for the inlaws to bring with them at christmas.

  2. I am off to buy a shed load of spuds, it's been a long year. Very funny indeed.

  3. Mmm, Chmapagne and Rennies. Yum ;-)
    This is the 2nd post were I found paper hats on the list. Really? Paper hats for Christmas? I have never heard of that. We don't do that in Austria/Germany/Switzerland/Sweden. And I am confused enough with all the different rules and traditions to remember as it is.

  4. Gaelikaa, thanks!

    Very Bored Housewife, when I first heard about the potato thing I was shocked and thought it was awful, but now I have children I'm hoping it works!

    Jamie, aw, can you imagine their disappointed faces when they get a sack of spuds for Xmas?!

    Metropolitan Mum, they're the hats you get in Christmas crackers - is this helping? We sit and eat our dinner with paper hats on. Ridiculous when you think about it!

  5. Metropolitan Mum, Sandy is not telling you the truth. When we say hats we mean either woolly ones or bowler hats, or if you are really posh, a top hat. Often it depends on the weather.
    John Lewis Welwyn, you can walk there from my mums house. Its just the best!
    Can I send my family around to yours for Christmas and have the day off?

  6. Zooarchaeologist, that made me laugh until I nearly choked! Of course if you are poor you can furnish a rather fetching hat from a sheet of newspaper. Poor Met.Mum.
    Your mum is very lucky.
    And no ;-)

  7. Sandy i nearly wet myself at the potatoes - yes you ARE cruel :) I like that the kids must share aall their choccy with you, we have a similar unwritten rule in our house x

  8. Wife of Bold, I'm glad you liked the potato rule. Of course P&C are too young yet to understand, but one day...! x


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