12 April 2010


I look at my two perfect boys. I can't believe they're mine. I mean, where did they come from? How did we create these two amazing, adorable little people?

Before I had children I could take them or leave them. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. Now, of course I do.

Over the last few months Andy and I have been asking ourselves the question shall we have another baby?

I love tiny babies. My friend Amy is due to have her fifth baby next month, he's due on the same day as my sister in law's first baby. I'm sure I'll feel spectacularly broody when they arrive. There's no doubt that I'll cry when I hold those tiny snuffling bundles. I know I won't want to hand them back.

As lovely as new babies are, it's another child I want. In fact, I'd like more children. I'd quite like twins. Age just isn't on my side. You know how you set your own rules in life, such as always taking off your makeup, no matter how drunk tired you are? Well, one of my life rules was to not have a baby in my forties. Rules are made to be broken, they say, but maybe not in this case. I'm forty now and I don't want to push my luck.

So, is that it? Are we done?

It saddens me to say that yes, I think we are done. We'll stick with this winning hand, with our two darling sons.

I took Presley and Cash to visit Sally and Flea today. We walked to the park for a picnic. I left Cash in the buggy while we ate. Presley stuffed his face with sandwiches, pombears, grapes, yoghurt, Oreos and a smoothie. Anyone would have thought he hadn't eaten for a week! Cash was more restrained, but he had already hoovered up his own body weight in raisins at Sally's house (huge apologies for the mess on the rug).

Once we had finished eating I let the boys loose to run around. The park was gated and toddler-friendly, but I still needed eyes in the back of my head - and Sally's help - to keep up with Presley and Cash. Having two toddlers is hard work when I'm in the comfort of my own home, where I know they can't go anywhere. Out in public it was pretty tricky.

As I strapped Cash back in the buggy and fastened Presley's LittleLife backpack so that we could walk safely back to the car, it dawned on me that I wouldn't be able to cope with a baby as well. I'd struggle to leave the house.

I've got two hands, two arms, two knees and two children. I'm done.


  1. Your boys sound exactly like my son - full of beans! I know a lot of people with two children who are wondering whether to have another or not. I just have the one at the moment and am hoping to have another soon, but even with just the one struggle to get anything done, so who knows how I'll cope with two!

  2. At every single opportunity I love to tell people I have 4 children. It's like playing Top Trumps with kids. Some people I meet will have 5 children, but not often. I usually win with 4. :)

    Don't worry, it's a man thing and in truth I cherish each one of them for who they are not just so I can win in a bragging contest!

  3. What a lovely post. It is a very hard realisation to come to knowing that you're not going to have any more isn't it? I wonder when it ends. I'm 44 now and I know I'm done. I really struggled to conceive my 2 year old and she takes it out of me. But to actually realise that's it, no more, is still hard. Glad you had a nice day with Sally and Flea. Your boys sound gorgeous.

  4. Oh honey that is a hard decision to make.

    But I love that you can look around you and see everything you have. When you write you don't sound like someone with a big hole to fill, you sound fulfilled, happy, at peace. I love that.

    Your boys are gorgeous. There is no rule about how many children you should have. Every mother has to come to that point at some time that that's it now and that's going to happen at different times for everyone.

    Congratulations on a beautiful family well made, and all the fun times and adventures you have to come xxx

  5. Such a bittersweet post for me too. MadDad didnt want children in his 40's, we just managed to fit mini in before he turned 40!

    It does get easier with two. I would love to have more children. We may even consider adoption, but not now, not until both the boys are older and settled.

  6. it is hard sometimes, mine are 18 months and 3.5 years and taking them anywhere together is really hard work.

    I don't think i could manage with a baby as well either.

  7. Aww.. such a nice post! I always wonder what number I'll stop at! I cant wait for the 2nd baby , I feel like I'm ready but the OH has told me he's not. I do wonder how 3 works outs?? Like you said we only 2 hands!

  8. Such a lovley post Sandy, like you I am broody at the moment and would love another baby, but will be 40 in september and therefore dont see it on the cards for me either, but we are lucky to have such lovely children as it is.

  9. I can really relate to this post. I struggle sometimes thinknig Flea is my only - I'm 35 and consider I'm too old to have another!

    I spent today with three children - one 3, one 4 and one 5. We spent the afternoon at the park and WOW.

    I don't mind admitting it was really hard work, and when they all run in different directions you sort of have to trust they'll be okay and won't all fall over at the same time. I can't imagine how much harder it would be with a baby, makes me very grateful for the one I have!

    (Oh, and it was lovely to see you and your lovely boys yesterday x)

  10. I am like you and have two boys. I am an only child and therefore didn't want just one. I would love three but like you I don't know how I would cope. Time will tell. xx

  11. Baking Mad Mama, haha, when you have another you'll look back at your life with one and realise how easy it was ;-) x

    Dave, four is a good number, brag away :-)

    Deer Baby, I wonder if it ever goes away. I don't know anyone who regrets having any of their children. x

    Josie, aww, what a lovely comment. I hadn't thought about it like that. There is no hole, I am fulfilled. It's just that children are so amazing I'd love a house full! x

    The Mad House, I know it'll get easier, perhaps then I'll regret my decision. Adoption - what a wonderful thing to do x

  12. Heather, mine are 2.5 and 1.5. When they both run off in different directions it's impossible!

    Emma, good luck with persuading J that you're ready for another. Who knows where you'll stop? Yyou're only young ;-) x

    Lorraine, yes, we should definitely count our blessings x

    Sally, 35? You're a Spring chicken! It was lovely to see you too x

    Susan, yes, that's why we rushed to have another before I got too old! x

  13. Great post. i feel exactly the same with my two little men. in fact i have a post coming on the subject. watch this space!

  14. A lovely post hun and you have two wonderful gorgeous little boys who are fantastic. You are a wonderful mum and enjoy your little ones. Your family is complete and so is mine once my little man is here. I loved seeing you and i can't wait to see you again. xxxxxx

  15. Marketing to milk, thank you. I just read your post. I have boy + boy and they both wear my shoes!

    Amy, what a lovely thing to say. Looking forward to seeing you again too x

  16. Congratulations on coming to a decision - I wish I could! I think about whether to have another one every single day. It's a hard decision and sometimes I think if it's so hard, maybe we should stop now. But other times I think I'll never stop thinking about it if we don't do it.

    S x

  17. Solveig, even though we've made the decision I still think about having another baby. I guess it's only natural. Good luck with making your decision x


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