2 December 2009

A letter to my 16-year-old self

Dear Sandy,

This is a difficult letter to write because I know you so well. You think you know it all and you may not like what I want to tell you.

You are worth so much more than you think.

You are intelligent, caring and loyal, but you are too trusting. Not everyone is as open and honest as you are. People can be manipulative, jealous, thoughtless, heartless and cruel.

Stay away from toxic friends. You know who they are really. They have been dragging you down to their level since you met them at Middle School. You got stuck with them and they are not nice girls. They lie, steal and do not value your friendship.

You will finally cut all ties with them when you are 30, but that means 21 years of bullying, abuse and tears. I wish you had the strength of character to ditch them at age 16, but you are easily led.

You always refer to yourself as lazy, but you are not. You are ambitious, but something holds you back. You will eventually become successful in your career, but you could have achieved more earlier. You must enjoy your work, if you do not it is time to move on.

Men. What can I tell you about men? A lot of them really are only after one thing. You are incapable of having 'no strings' relationships. You care too much about the men you let into your heart and your bedroom. If you meet someone in the pub, when you and they are drunk, this is not going to be the start of a healthy relationship.

If you are seeing a man who becomes aggressive for no reason on an early date, do not move in with him and then stay with him for months because you think you'll never find someone else. You may be big, but you must never be so desperate for love that you ignore your instincts and allow someone to bully you and turn you into a quivering wreck. When someone tells you that you are a crazy bitch you should leave them, not believe them.

Luckily you will know when you find true love and you will hang on to it and cherish it.

Finally, if you can, try to stay away from the biscuits!

I love you.

This post was inspired by one of the writing prompts at the Sleep is for the Weak writing workshop.

This week I loved all of the writing prompts, for me they're the best selection yet.

I chose prompt no.1 Write a letter to your 16-year-old self.

If I had the time I would have loved to write a post for each prompt. In fact, I may just do that anyway, just not today!

If you haven't been over to the writing workshop I can highly recommend it.



  1. 'You are worth so much more than you think' - that stood out and I wish I had put it in mine, because it's so true. I thought all this week's prompts were great, too!

  2. Sounds like you had a rough time. You're beautiful in your picture, I'm glad you found your way out.

    Though I have to say, if I wrote to my 16 year old self, I'd have to say that is possible to have healthy relationship with someone you meet when you are both drunk in a pub! (That is how I met my husband!)

  3. Lovley letter Sandy, I'm glad you found out your worth in the end :-)

  4. I agree you are wonderful and although hard the past helps shapes the person we are today

  5. If only we could get the letters to our younger selves eh?! I need a good talking too! Lovely letter, hope to find time to write to my own 16 yr old self although I know she's in her room listening to tapes and not listening to much else!

  6. Well done for being brave to write so honestly. You do come across as a lovely person and I'm glad you appear happy now. I was less brave with my post and edited some out this morning, but perhaps next time.

  7. Hearth-mother, I nearly copied that sentence three times in my post, but chose not to. I'm glad it stood out for you.

    Geekymummy, thank you! I don't think I had a particularly rough time, compared to some, but when you pick out the negative parts of your life it's bound to seem like you did.
    It must have been a different pub from the one I used to go to!

    notSupermum, thank you. I loved yours too :-)

    The Mad House, aw, thanks. I absolutely agree, if none of these difficult events were in my past I would be a different person now. Andy and I often say that we wish we'd met years ago, but if that was the case we would have been different people and probably wouldn't have been ready for our relationship.

    Claire, my 16-year-old self wouldn't have listened to me, I'm sure! I loved writing this letter, it was great therapy. I've been writing more and more in my head all day!

    Mum's Survival Guide, thank you. When I look at how far I've come I realise that I am happy. These people from my past have had an impact on my life, but the can stay in the past so that I can appreciate what I have now. I thought your post was lovely. Even if you don't put all the gory details on your blog I hope that writing them down has helped.

  8. Loved your post as usual Sandy, I have been trying to join the writing workshop for ages, and the choices today finally got me moving.

    I am sure our 16 year old self would not have listened but if they had our lives would have been so different, but like you I am glad about where I am today and since we are products of our past it seems to have all worked out in the end.xx

  9. That's a powerful post. I saw this writing prompt and thought I might pluck up the courage to do it myself. It's not an easy one. The point you make about men is so true, I'm glad you wrote it. Sounds like you have had a tough time over the years. Actually I already know that from your previous posts. So pleased things have turned out better for you now, you deserve it. xx

  10. Oh no, don't regret the biscuits!

    I love how much you've obviously grown since then. You speak as a powerful, self-assured, confident woman - I think your 16 year old self would be in awe of you and so proud of all you've become - as am I xxx

  11. Amazing letter. I'm loving these...

  12. Aw, Sandy. I'd have loved to have received that letter when I was 16 and could have done with it too. Beautifully written. But don't cut out the biscuits altogether ;-) x

  13. Lorraine, I'm so glad you joined this time, your post is excellent. Yes, I suppose we turned out okay in the end! x

    Rosie, thank you. There have been difficult times, but there have also been good times (perhaps I should write more about those)! I guess it makes us who we are. x

    Josie, the biscuits have seen me through a lot! When I compare myself now to when I was 16 I have grown in confidence, I put up with less crap than I used to, but I'm still not where I would like to be. x

    Mwa, thanks, me too :-)

    Geriatric Mummy, thank you, but would we have listened at 16? Probably not! x


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