7 December 2009

Are we friends?

Look at these smiling faces. This is a photograph from the recent British Mummy Bloggers meet up at London Zoo.

I would have said that these were my friends. We have been reading each other's blogs for a while. We've left comments and built up an online relationship. I met and chatted to almost all of the thirty bloggers who attended. There was a friendly, excited atmosphere. I had a fabulous time.

Then I read Circle of Trust by the fabulous Josie at Sleep is for the weak. I also read the fifty comments - that took a while! I was going to comment myself, but my comment turned into this post.

Josie poses the question should we trust our online friends?

I initially thought, when I read Josie's post, that perhaps I am naive and far too trusting. I take everyone at face value. It hadn't crossed my mind that any of my online friends may not be who they claim to be.

I have loved making new friends on Twitter and via blogging, I hope these friendships are 'real'. I have found it so easy to make new friends this way, much easier than at Playgroup.

In my experience the people I have chosen to meet in real life have been just as wonderful as their online persona, especially the fabulous Kim.

I've been to two BMB meet-ups now, at London Zoo and at MOSI, and out of the forty or so people that I have met I would say only one was different to her online persona (she was so much nicer in real life)! I also met Josie at MOSI and I can tell you that she is as genuine and lovely offline as she is online.

Did I mention that I went to Downing Street last week? Just in case you were locked in a wardrobe or something, here is my post. This was another example of the power of social media. I met a few people there that I had only spoken to previously online. They're great people.

I guess you have to exercise the same judgement that you would in real life.

Having said all of the above, I have had one bad experience. I have hinted at it here and here. I met my ex online and he turned out to be a big fat hairy liar. Lying was one of his more likeable personality traits.

Amazing really that I tried internet dating again. The second time I tried it I met Andy, my husband. I will have to write about our eight hour first date at some point! Absolute proof that not everyone you meet online is a weirdo!

So, are we friends?

Photo credit: A Modern Mother



  1. Absolutely yes! (At least I hope so!)

    Even though I know the potential dangers of the internet, I'm also quite a trusting person and amongst the mummybloggers it certainly wouldn't ever cross my mind that someone might not be who they purported to be.

    So now I'm intrigued and I'm off to read Josie's post.

  2. I'd like to think that all that I've met online are who they present themselves to be (although hubby is suspicious of you all!!!) - thought I haven't "met" any of them yet. But the ones I "talk" to seem to be the real deal (including you - so if I ever find myself in London...).

  3. I read Josie's post too, and I left a comment. I like to consider my online friends as friends, I sometimes confide in you all more than my own friends, especially when I split up with my children's Dad- it was easier to speak to online people who follow my blog or whose blogs I follow, as my friends in the outside of internet world and mates of us both, so it was awkward!

    I love my blog buddies, they all cheer me up no end, are funny and share alot of the same views as me too.

  4. I hope so, I have met some of my best friends ever on line and I hope I continue to do so!

  5. A really interesting post Sandy. It has never occurred to me to mis-trust anyone who follows me or comments. Maybe I'm naive too?! I have only met a handful of other bloggers face to face. I think the online friendships are an amazing additional level to relationships which of course we all still have with close friends and family. I hope people are being genuine - I'd be very disillusioned if they weren't!

  6. I am more open sometimes with my Internet friends, however, that is because I am shy in RL! I would love to meet you all some day

  7. This really got me thinking, I think I must be another naive one too Sandy :) So far everyone I have met have been lovely but you don't always know do you. I really love my blog buddies, it is so much easier to talk about problems to people who aren't involved in every part of your life and I appreciate all the great advice I get too.

    Off to read Josie's post too now :) xxx

  8. Yes yes yes we are!

    A different kind of friendship perhaps, but no less real or special :) xx

  9. Thanks for all the positive comments. I do feel that online friends are real friends and I'll believe they're genuine until proved otherwise.

    Ella, me too. Mummy bloggers seem to be such a supportive bunch. It's all about the community, so I'd be surprised and disappointed if any of us turned out to be a fake. x

    Kelly, me too. I'd love to meet you and Piran one day. x

    Gigi, as I said to Ella above, I'd be surprised if any of the mummy bloggers were fakes. Yes, definitely, let us know if you come over :-)

    20 Something Mum, I feel the same, although my friends and family know about my blog so I wouldn't write about anything that concerns them. It seems like we're in a permanent jolly coffee morning in each other's homes!

    Tawny, I hope so too. I met my husband online so I know there are genuine people on the internet!

    Hot Cross Mum, I totally agree. Obviously you have to be careful, but mummy bloggers in particular seem to be genuine people and have become great friends who are going through the same life experiences.

    The Mad House, yes, if you're shy it's so much easier to be friendly when you're sat behind a computer screen! Would love to meet you too x

    WADs, I'm not sure that we are naive. If we questioned everyone's motives we would never experience the fun, friendly side of blogging. Yes, the advice is excellent too. x

    Josie, well said, I couldn't agree more x

  10. That is so awesome that you have met other bloggers offline / in person. I wish I could, too. A lot of the blogs I read are by people in different cities, states, etc than me.

  11. Amy, it's a bit like a blind date, but much more fun! It's easier to meet up in the UK, we're so much smaller than the US!


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