22 January 2010

Job Description

Job Title:



7am to 7pm seven days a week (if you’re lucky). Occasional (frequent) nights. On-call every night.


[This section has deliberately been left blank].


You may be granted the odd night out if you can find a reliable babysitter that you trust implicitly, otherwise time off is not permitted.


Generally you are not permitted to be ill. Sickies can not be taken unless you have prior agreement from your partner that they will drive the night before and you can have a drink and a bit of a lie-in the following day.


Pyjamas may be worn, although if venturing out of the house try to change into any maternity clothes that still fit and pick sick off your shoulder. Brush hair weekly. What’s lipstick?

Skills required:

Cooking, cleaning, washing, bathing, tidying, chauffeuring, precision pushchair pushing, nappy changing, nail clipping, teeth cleaning, teething gel dispensing, administering Calpol, phoning NHS direct, replacing socks every five minutes, putting books back in bookcase as required (could be up to twenty times a day), cuddling, comforting, carrying, teddy finding, reading, doing funny voices, tidying, patience of a saint, stepping on lego without swearing, singing, dancing, tickling, puppetry, drawing, pulling faces, general entertaining, teaching and mind reading.


Spending time with the most amazing, incredible human beings imaginable, your children. Smiles, giggles, kisses and cuddles.



  1. This is brilliant & you saved the best bit 'till last. The whole reason we do it.
    Enjoy your children/Job!

  2. Lol, pick sick off yoru shoulder - that sounds oh too familiar! Mich x

  3. Love it, thats so very true :D

  4. Very true - even my husband had a laugh at it!

  5. That's a lovely post. I definitely have plenty of experience too!

  6. Yep, that sounds about right, although my hours are currently 22 out of 24 owing to Littlest suddenly deciding he no longer likes sleeping through and wakes up at 5.30am as well, and Mini who will only sleep from 7-11 in her bed before she hears her cousin getting in from work, and then wants to sleep with Mummy.

    Its a Mums Life eh?

    Loved this post hun, it really made me smile

  7. Brilliant! Put a big smile on my face :-)

  8. I'd love to tell you it gets easier but wait till you get teenagers

    cue scary music

    dun dun dun

  9. I love it...especially brushing hair weekly - if you are lucky!!

  10. Ha ha! I am very experienced in mopping up drool. And this is one job you can't get fired from :)

  11. Great post. We may not get paid for it with money, but we certainly do get the most amazing experiences from being mothers.

  12. Jordan, if it wasn't for the last bit you just wouldn't be able to do the rest!

    Mich, I still have to check myself when we go out as my boys love to wipe their mouths and hands on me! x

    Hayley, thank you :-)

    Heather, certainly is!

    More 4 Mums, we aim to please! :-)

  13. The Mad House, glad it's not just me then!

    Liz, thanks. The job's yours! x

    20SomethingMum, oh no! Touch wood mine are going through a sleeping phase a the moment. Now I've written that things are bound to change!

    Young Mummy, I'm pleased it made you smile :-)

    AuntieGwen, Noooooooooooo!

  14. Mummy Bear, that's why I favour the pony tail!

    Make Do Mum, ew, I forgot about drool and runny noses! :-)

    Debs, thanks. It only takes a smile from them and it's all worth it :-)

  15. That's brilliant !

    Doesn't say you have to be able to do everything in the jobs list all at once !

  16. Muddling Along, I didn't want to frighten anyone! :-)

    Glowstars, thank you :-)

    Posh Totty, hi and thank you :-)

  17. Excellent work! I would get a massive fail on my parenting appraisal for rarely managing to escape a run-in with Lego without letting a swear word out.

    I was going to ask for a vlog of some puppetry but I see you've put one up!

  18. Baking Mad Mama, thanks. We do love to bring the toys alive in this house! x


Blog Widget by LinkWithin