17 September 2010

I Want My Mummy

"I WANT MY MUMMY. I WANT MY MUMMY", screamed the little boy.

His outstretched arms desperately trying to reach his mother.  His mother was walking away, pushing her younger son in a buggy. The other woman, in the blue apron, gripped the frantic little boy tightly to her hip. His face red and wet, he tried again.


The mother swallowed hard and walked out of the door.  Once outside, out of sight of both of her children, she sobbed silently. The mother felt her heart ripping into pieces. She knew she had made the right decision, for the right reasons, but this was almost unbearable.

Eventually the screaming stopped. The mother wiped her eyes with her fingers and took her youngest son home.


If you hadn't guessed, this was me this week leaving three year old Presley at nursery for the first time. And the second time.

He had a great time, once he had stopped crying. As I collected him each day he told me what he had played with, what he had for his snack, that he saw a dog. He knows that on Wednesdays and Thursdays now he goes to nursery. He is happy to go - in theory - he just hates it when I have to leave.

I knew it would be distressing for both of us to make the move towards his independence. He had previously only been left with his grandparents for short periods. Nursery is a big step. 

The other woman was one of the nursery teachers, she also runs the toddler group that we go to. Presley knows and likes her. She is kind, patient and wonderful with children. If she hadn't been there at nursery I wouldn't have left my boy with them if he didn't want to be there. I certainly wouldn't have handed him over as I did. She rang me both days to tell me how quickly he had settled and that he was playing happily.

It's still one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I hope he settles quickly next week.

Oh and little two year old Cash, well, he had the house and the toys to himself for two mornings this week. He didn't know what to do with himself. We both idly played with Presely's toys, waiting until midday when we could go and collect him.




  1. Oh my goodness that will be me in a year or so! I am one of those mothers who 'needs' her own timne and space, yet when our youngling goes to his nannas for the evening I end up missing him terribly.

    You're being very brave and at least you have youngling #2 to keep you occupied - for the time being lol

    Take care
    Kate Collings

    www.katecollings.blogspot.com - always welcoming new followers, guests and comments xx

  2. Don't! I am planning on taking my little one to nursery for the first time next week and really hoping this doesn't happen!

  3. It's funny how when they're not around, even when they're older, you think "Cor, I'll get so much done!" then you end up clock-watching for pick-up time.

  4. It is very difficult, it's like leaving a little piece of your heart behind every morning. But every day it gets better, and then you start enjoying your time apart, but you appreciate your time together that much more.

  5. mine were at nursery from small babies so its less stressy. Had 1 or 2 occasions when they didn't want to go but not that emotional xx

  6. I had the same thing with my eldest when he started nursery, it was wretched. It does get easier though and they do settle x

  7. it is heartbreaking, ins;t it. Geekygirl, despte having been in the same daycare/preschool since she was little, became very clingy when she was moved to a new classroom, around the time her brother was born. Geekydaddy did drop off most of the time and it was so hard for him. It was only a couple of weeks but it felt like forever until she got used to it.

  8. My DD was the same when she first started going a month after her third birthday. I used to hide in the walkway until she stopped crying - which was usually only a couple of minutes - in floods of tears myself. But it was only for a week or two, now she runs in ahead of me and can't wait to go. Which is a fantastic feeling.

  9. Oh that was so sad! We are thinking of maybe sending Baba in October when he is two just for a morning and that has put me off, I don't want him to cry like that! Oh god you are very very brave.
    I am sure this week he will be fine xx

  10. This happened to me when my daughter started nursery and I used to get so upset over it. She was always fine if someone else dropped her off and the teachers always said she was fine after 10 minutes but it's just knowing that you're leaving them there in that state that breaks your heart.

    After about six weeks (yep, six long, long weeks) it just stopped. No idea why but suddenly she wasn't bothered about going and now she loves school.

    He'll soon settle but in the meantime, try not to worry too much....


  11. It is so hard, thank you for being there for me when Mini was going through the same last year. You know where I am if you need a chat.

  12. painful. i've so been there. last week in fact. i just blogged about it too because i reckon there's an upside to it all..... sympathies though. hopefully it will get easier....

  13. It is hard. The girl was always happy to be left at preschool, but she cried every day for 2 months when I would pick her up. I had a 4 month old baby strapped to my chest and a crying 2.5 year old in my arms. It was hard but they were wonderful and she did love it.

  14. It's hard to leave them but I've always been lucky with mine in the fact that they loved going to nursery. I'm not sure whether that was because they'd all been to parent & toddler groups and another type of nursery but the separation anxiety does pass and he will love being there.

  15. I know it's hard but it does get easier, I promise. Hope the week went well and things are settling down for you all :)

  16. Kate, yes, what will I do with myself when they both go to nursery?! x

    The Moiderer, the initial separation is hard, but Presley loves nursery and has a great time. Good luck! x

    Jen, and I was looking forward to getting so much done!! :-)

    Alethea, you're so right. He loves it when he gets over the separation and he gives me a wonderful smile and cuddle when I collect him :-)

    Becky, yes, that seems to make a big difference. It is getting easier each time now x

  17. Ella, yes it is getting easier every time now :-) x

    Geeky Mummy, I think it's harder for the parent doing the dropping off! x

    Jo, that is exactly what we do. I go out to have a good cry. He stops before I do! Fingers crossed he soon starts running in without a backwards glance :-) x

    Kerry, it is awful, but they do get over it. Already it is getting easier. Presley absolutely loves nursery when he calms down. When I dropped him off at the last session he cried for 20 seconds then smiled when he saw the Duplo. Only do what is right for you and Baba at the time x

    Cass, it is heartbreaking, but I know he has a good time there. Fingers crossed he settles soon! x

  18. The Mad House, thank you xxx

    Babies Who Brunch, yes, you're absolutely spot on about the upside! :-)

    Capital Mom, I think they like to keep us on our toes. That must have been difficult with a baby too x

    Nickie, I knew he'd enjoy it once we got over the separation anxiety, because he loves toddler groups. We'll get there! x

    Scribbling Mum, thank you. I think we're heading in the right direction x


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