11 March 2013

Morphine for Breakfast



Pain is a strange thing. Once it's gone you can't remember it, although you know it was unbearable at the time. If I'm in pain now, I always compare it with the pain of being in labour. Is it worse than being in labour? It can't be. Surely labour pain set the bar at an all time high? The pain of pneumonia and pleurisy was pretty awful. Added to this I was holding so much tension in my shoulders that I had muscle spasms. I certainly couldn't sleep because of the pain.

In hospital I was given morphine in A&E, but once on the ward I must have been marked down as only give pain relief if required. With hindsight this was a mistake. Pretty soon I needed all the pain killers, one after another, until I was left sitting in bed just blinking. The pain was still there, but I was so out of it I had drifted away and been replaced by Zombie Sandy. I'd stopped screaming and crying anyway.

I saw doctors and an amazing physio. The physio reminded me to how to breathe using my diaphragm - not my shoulders. I was given regular pain killers and the option of morphine at night, when the pain was unmanageable. I took it. The early hours of the morning were worst.

After five days in hospital my blood test results showed an improvement in the sepsis and pneumonia. During the day I was fairly mobile, once I'd come round. The doctors dangled the carrot of going home, but only if I could manage without morphine. I was desperate to see my children. Then I remembered a pain management technique I had been taught. Mind over matter was worth a try.

This was the point I contacted Dawn from Think It Change It. I was her guinea pig when she was training to become a Cognitive Hypnotherapist last year. I asked for a reminder of the technique that she had taught me to help with my slipped disc. She dropped what she was doing and rang me. I spent the rest of the day practising. I repeated this mantra and used it throughout the night:
My muscles are completely relaxed. My back and my shoulder are as comfortably numb as my leg.
Mumbo jumbo you may say, but it got me through the night. It wasn't easy, but I managed the pain without morphine. I slept for three hours too. In the morning I was able to text Andy "Fruit & Fibre for breakfast" and he knew I would be coming home that day.

I can't thank Dawn, or recommend her services, highly enough. She has also helped me to remove the mental barriers that were preventing me from losing weight. At some point I'll do a ta daa post, as I am a fair bit smaller than I was last year. Dawn works from her therapy room in Dundee, but also offers downloads and online support. Check out her website to see if she can help you with phobias, pain, weight, smoking and more. She has also written a book about her personal transformation, again details are on her website. I'm proud to call her my friend.


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10 comments:

  1. This is great to see. I know from experience that Dawn is great she did a download for Mini.

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    1. @Jen, she was such a big help. You'll have to fill me in on Mini.

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  2. Oh Sandy, I had no idea (just caught up with your last post). Great to see that you are on the road to recovery.

    Know how you're feeling as I was in a similar position (without the ambulance) six or so years ago, so my top tip is take it very very slowly. Pneumonia is bad enough without all the rest, so take tiny baby steps and let your body recover in its own time.

    That sounds horribly patronising, but I just remember being so desperate to prove I was better and pushing myself too far, with unfortunate results...

    Sending lots of love. x

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    1. @PlanB, I'm simply not able to do anything at the moment, so the rest is enforced. I know what I'm like though, and will have to resist the temptation to do too much too soon. You weren't patronizing at all, I appreciate exactly what you're saying x

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  3. Oh Sandy I am so sorry to hear that you have been so poorly but I am glad that you found a way to get yourself home and that you are on the mend x

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    1. @Kelly, thank you. I'm so glad to be home, although I missed the security of being in the hospital all of last week. This week is better so far x

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  4. So happy to read that you are on the mend, albeit there's still some way to go. Dawn sounds like a fabulous person. I know that weight is of very little concern to you at the moment, but I also know that it's been bugging you for a long time. Fab news that you've overcome whatever obstacles were holding you back. Get better soon and take it easy! xx

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    1. @MetMum, yes, she is. Food is fuel at the moment. I have so little energy that I need to keep eating. I'm eating healthily. My health is my main concern right now. I will take it easy, I promise x

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  5. Sounds like she was the right person at the right time.

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