Back on the Treadmill

This is not a metaphor for the daily routine of work, school and the rest, I literally got back on the treadmill at the gym and I couldn't be happier.

I felt so at home, so relieved, to be back exercising again.

I got a cold in the middle of November, that lingered until the week before Christmas, then ho ho atchoo, I got another cold on Christmas Day. This was on top of a few months of an asthmatic chesty cough (that required an x-ray and CT scan to rule out the Big C - that was a scary few weeks).

So I haven't exercised for eight weeks. I'm still not feeling great, but I knew I had to get back to looking after myself.

Having the longest cold known to mankind left me feeling very sorry for myself. I'd been struggling at Slimming World too. I found that unless I stuck to the plan 100% for the whole week, I gained weight. One week I had just one evening off the plan and put on 4lbs. This was demoralising and I'd got into the old diet mentality of thinking that the diet was ruined and then having a few days off. Of course this meant weight gains, so I began yoyo-ing. By the beginning of December I was feeling pretty hopeless. I needed a break and decided to forget about eating healthily. Things would have been different had I still been out running four times a week, but I wasn't well enough. As is traditional with the emotional eater, I comforted myself with food. After all, it was Christmas.

Enough is enough. As of today I am back eating healthily, exercising and taking care of myself. It was a big and difficult step, but already I am feeling happier and lighter. I have the euphoria of having been for a run, albeit on the treadmill at the gym. Like anyone who lived on fancy biscuits, mince pies, cherry brandy, cheese and Gaviscon over the festive season I am now craving simple fresh food.

I'm also in training as I've signed up for the Comic Relief Danceathon at Wembley on 8th March, as part of the mighty Team Honk. That's six solid hours of dancing with the goddess that is Claudia Winkleman. I can't wait.

I'm a little annoyed with myself for putting on a bit a lot of weight over Christmas, but I understand why it happened. It may happen again from time to time, but the most important thing is that I know I can lose it again. It's also a relief to know that I'm still nowhere near the weight I was in October 2012 (when I started at Slimming World). In the meantime, thank goodness for forgiving leggings and Phase Eight over-sized knitwear.

Happy New Year, friends.



.

Back on the Treadmill

How to Gain Eleven Pounds in Seven Days

Want to know how to gain eleven pounds in seven days? The answer is to go on a diet.

There are not many things I really and truly hate, but I detest diets. I've either been on a diet or thinking I should be on a diet since I was nine years old. That's thirty four years of misery and guilt. Thirty four years of yo-yo dieting. Thirty four years of disappointment and self-loathing.

I was hoping to be able to write a ta daaaa! post, with before and after photographs, showing how much weight I had lost. But my latest attempt to become fitter, healthier - and smaller - has crashed and burned.

I'd spent a good few years saying that diets didn't work (if they did work, I'd be a size 10) and I was never going to diet again, but I was getting fatter and fatter. I had to do something. I'd tried Thinking Slimmer. Some of my behaviours surrounding food and exercise had changed, but I didn't lose any weight. I'd been seeing a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and she did help me to break through some of the mental barriers that I'd put up, the ones that I'd built up over the years, the ones that prevented me from losing weight. So then I was ready to lose weight. I joined Slimming World last October .

The first four months at Slimming World were great. I found that the eating plan suited me, as did the group support. As well as losing three stones, I lost the headaches and the heartburn of the binge eater.

Then I got ill with pneumonia, pleurisy and sepsis. After a few days of illness, a week in hospital, and a scary first few days at home, I'd lost another stone.

It was important to me to get back to Slimming World as quickly as I could, but more important to eat well after my health scare. I followed the plan, but my weight loss had stopped. I had reached the dreaded dieter's plateau. Despite eating healthily I stayed at the same weight for two months. I haven't been able to exercise at all, my recovery from serious illness is slow and I have to rest most of the time. Even so, I would have expected some small weight losses.

A few weeks ago I went for my weekly weigh-in to find that I had gained a pound and a half. I had followed the diet plan to the letter that week. The disappointment I felt prompted a week off the plan. Six months is a long time to stick to an eating plan, even one as simple as Slimming World. I didn't go crazy - we eat healthy, balanced meals as a family - although I did eat white toast with butter, chocolate and biscuits. I ate all the things I fancied, but hadn't really had for a while. Mmm, pizza.

I gained a whopping eleven pounds in that week off the plan.

I didn't think it was possible to gain that amount of weight in a week. I went straight back on the plan for five days but only lost a measly two pounds. Since then, for a week or so, I've been binge eating. Out of control. Eating everything in sight. I can't stop. I have continuous headaches and heartburn. I'm bloated. I haven't weighed myself. I daren't weigh myself. I hate myself.

Where do I go from here?

If I go back to Slimming World, I'll feel a big fat failure every week as I can't seem to control my eating right now.

If I stop dieting I'll end up bigger than I was before. I hate being the biggest mum at the school gates. I hate being an unhealthy, out of breath, lumbering, unfanciable lump. Fat cow. Lazy fat cow. Stupid fat cow.



As this was a rant of epic proportions, I've linked up with Mummy Barrow's Ranty Friday:




.

How to Gain Eleven Pounds in Seven Days