Everything in Moderation

My children, looking a little like pigs at a trough, 'we're eating our dinner, mummy'.

My boys eat fairly well, but not as well as I would like. As with most aspects of parenting I'd give myself a could do better in the food department.

I recently attended two blogger events that made me think more about nutrition and the psychology of food. I hope both companies are happy with me discussing them together in one post, as they had a similar message. They also both gave me the opportunity to catch up with some blogging friends and give my children a day out.

The first event was at Kellogg's HQ in Manchester. They called the event 'Snap, Crackle and Blog' and they looked after us parenting bloggers and our children very well. We were given a goody bag, lunch and as many cereal bars as we could eat. My sons took advantage of this!

We even got a visit from some poor juniors dressed up in animal suits.

The other event was put on by Nutella. Again they provided excellent entertainment for the children. The venue was Stockley Farm in Cheshire. Presley and Cash LOVED the farm. 

There was so much to see and do, including real tractor rides, animals galore and an adventure playground. They even had the owl from The Gruffalo!

Again we were given a goody bag and had some bread and Nutella delivered to our homes.

At both events we had access to food psychologists and nutritionists who gave sensible unbiased advice about feeding your family. Eating together as a family is important, as is offering a variety of foods. I already knew this, but it was reassuring to have it confirmed.

Here we are cooking with celebrity chef, Alan Coxon (not pictured), at Nutella. 

I remember watching a television documentary called 'My Child Won't Eat'. As a parent I could see how the small concessions you make to keep the peace at the dinner table could lead to some extreme behaviour. One girl would only eat Wotsits and chocolate. Clearly this is not a healthy diet, but the doctor who was interviewed said that the most important thing is getting calories into a growing child.

This stuck with me.

The most important thing is to get calories into a growing child.

This was backed up by the shocking revelation by Kellogg's that millions of children regularly go to school without breakfast. When you weigh it up surely a bowl of Coco Pops with milk is better than going to school hungry?  If a scrape of Nutella on a piece of wholemeal toast is the only way your child will eat bread, then surely it is part of a healthy meal and a sensible choice.

I'm not spouting any of this because I was told it by Kellogg's and Nutella. I'm saying that everything in moderation is a sensible approach to eating. 

Andy and I offer our children a variety of foods and they choose whether or not to eat them. We try not to make a fuss at mealtimes. We encourage them to eat, we don't force them. We ask them to at least try everything on their plate. Foods are neither good nor bad. Some days Presley and Cash eat fruit until their chins are dripping with juice. Other days all they want is garlic bread and chocolate buttons. I don't mind so long at they are eating regularly and over a week they have a little bit of everything in moderation. I'm not saying that we get it right all the time, but we care and we try. 

There are children who are malnourished because their parents feed them according to their view of what is healthy - for an adult. These growing, developing children are given sugar-free, fat-free, 'health' food, but they're not getting enough calories.

This has turned into a rant. It wasn't meant to be. I guess I'm on the defensive because there are some who think that chocolate coated cereals and chocolate hazelnut spreads are evil, whereas I don't. 

When Presley was about two years old he refused to drink milk. He also decided he didn't like cheese so I was limited to giving him yoghurts for his daily dairy intake. One day I offered him some Coco Pops and showed him the magic of the milk turning chocolatey. He ate them and drank the 'chocolate milk'. Since then I have gradually reduced the amount of Coco Pops in his cereal bowl and topped it up with other (non-chocolate coated) cereals. Now he has plain whole milk on his cereal. Occasionally he asks for Coco Pops for breakfast, but mostly he doesn't.

Everything in moderation.

Oh and I always wanted my face on a Cornflakes packet!

You'd think I'd look happier about it!

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Everything in Moderation

The Toddler Food Graph

I feel like I should be stood at the front of a training room with a pointy stick and an overhead projector.

Andy and I have often discussed the fact that the more effort I put into cooking meals for Presley and Cash, the less they eat. The opposite is also true. If I shove something from the freezer into the oven and onto a plate, they'll eat the lot!

For example the following meals are the most popular with the boys, yet they require little or no culinary effort on my part:

Pizza and sweetcorn

Fish fingers, chips and peas

Sausages, potato waffles and baked beans

(Shop bought) meat & potato pie and mixed veg

Whereas if I spend time cooking for them, from scratch, they usually turn their noses up. This includes:

Chicken casserole

Pasta bolognaise

House burgers

Fish Pie

There are of course exceptions that prove the rule. Anything that Grandma cooks is usually devoured greedily (casseroles especially), although I like to think that this is because we eat later round there and the boys are starving. Of course this actually does prove my rule as I spent no time cooking!

Another exception is that they like a roast dinner, which takes a bit of time to cook, but is also normally eaten by the whole family. If Daddy is eating it, it must be okay!

Does this graph apply to your family? Suggestions for recipes gratefully received!

The Toddler Food Graph

The Terrible Twenty Twos

Presley is twenty two months old. He's not even two yet. So why have we been going through the terrible twos for months now? Admittedly he doesn't have a tantrum everyday, or even every other day, but when he has one watch out!

Most of the time he is sweetness and light, always smiling and laughs easily. But some mornings he gets out of his cot on the wrong side. He's not himself. Nothing I suggest is acceptable. He repeats 'nonono' over and over and over again.

Wednesday was one such day. Perhaps he picked up on my vibes. It was the anniversary of my brother's death so I wasn't overly jolly. The first tantrum was mid-morning (it would have been earlier but I remained calm through the porridge throwing incident)! He didn't want to get dressed. This happens a lot. After half an hour of him running around in just a nappy I tried to put his T-shirt on. He started crying and was about to roll around on the carpet in a mini-meltdown. Luckily his Grandma arrived with his cousin.

Saved by the bell.

He's never had a tantrum in public before, although I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I get tutted at in the biscuit aisle. He never plays up for his Grandma either. It appears to be just me he rages at.

After they left I made us a quick lunch. Presley wouldn't get into his high chair. Cue second mini-meltdown. I didn't force him into the chair. He didn't want toast apparently. He wanted cheese. Specifically he wanted the cheese his Dad was grating. Presley doesn't like cheese at the moment, or so I thought. He calmed down and ate lots and lots of mature cheddar.

We had a good time at playgroup, again Presley was very well behaved in public. I put the boys down for their naps when we got back. The naps were later than usual so I only let them have an hour, I don't like to let them sleep too late in the day in case they don't sleep at bedtime.

Most days Presley takes a while to wake up after his afternoon nap. He's quite often teary and usually wants a cuddle. I try to make sure I can sit with him for half an hour before Cash wakes up and wants feeding. Due to the routine being thrown out by playgroup I had to cut short our cuddle to get Cash.

This was when it started.

Presley cried. While I was feeding Cash he cried and pointed out of the window. He wanted to play outside. I did feel sorry for him, but I had to say no. He still needs supervising in the garden. It's not that big, but it is around three sides of the house and I can't see all of it from the patio doors.

Then we had the works. Screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor, thrashing about, more screaming.

I've seen Supernanny, you have to ignore the undesirable behaviour and praise the good. So I ignored him. Anyone who has ever tried to ignore their howling child will know how difficult this is. They're obviously distraught, they could hurt themselves.

This went on FOR AN HOUR.

My boy has stamina, I'll give him that!

The only time he paused for breath was when I gave him Calpol and teething gel. I thought he may be getting his back molars, but these teeth are taking ages to come through. I wondered whether they were crocodile tears? He wasn't asking to go outside any more and I didn't want to renege on my previous 'no' anyway. Hmm, I wonder where he gets his stubborn streak?!

Cash, who is usually a sympathy cryer, ignored Presley completely. He ate his tea in good humour. I strapped Presley in to the high chair only to watch him throw any food I put on his tray onto the carpet. He avoided the splashmat entirely.

By this point I was frazzled. I was taking deep breaths. I even sent a tweet/Facebook update saying that I'd developed a twitch. Well, I twitched once anyway.

He's a slight child so I really wanted him to eat something. I wondered if the novelty of something new and previously for adults only would entice him to eat. I was right. The tantrum ended when Presley was given Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Whatever.

Do the tantrums stop when they can communicate using words other than 'nonono'? Any advice gratefully received.

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In other news, I'm trying to win a holiday. The delightful Peggy at Perfectly Happy Mum is holding a competition. The prize is a day at Alton Towers and a weekend in a hotel for a family of four. The whole prize is worth £300. Also check out her new blog A Mother's Secrets, I'm looking forward to seeing it up and running.

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The eagle eyed amongst you may have noticed that this post was originally dated 8th July. That was the day I wrote the title and saved it, but then I realised my cat was missing and got a bit distracted. This afternoon I picked up the saved title from Edit Posts, wrote the post and published it. I was expecting it to show up on my blog today, 10th July but it was backdated to 8th July. Anyway, I've republished it, apologies for any confusion. *Shakes fist at Blogger*!

The Terrible Twenty Twos

For Crying Out Loud!

Is there some kind of Playgroup Etiquette? If there is I didn't get the email!

After my difficult first time at playgroup and the incident when I ruffled my feathers, today I had a new experience.

Presley is a bit under the weather, hopefully just a little cough and cold. He probably caught the bug from playgroup last week, so I decided to take the boys today. The session started well. Presley had a little push of the trolley and opened and closed the Wendy house door at least fifty times that I saw. He then sat down on the mat close to where I was playing with Cash. Cash incidentally can nearly crawl and likes to stand up holding my fingers.

Presley was playing with all the toys that do something. I'll elaborate, the ones where you press a button and a cow pops up or twist a piece of plastic and a cat pops up. He became quite the expert.

I'd noticed a baby crying and saw he was with his grandmother (she looked like a grandmother, although one should never assume), she was trying to get him to push a baby walker. He was having none of it. So she sat on the mat near us. She took one of the toys that do something and tried to interest the crying baby in it. Again, he wasn't having any of it. Presley did what he would have done for Cash, he showed the baby how to get the flamingo (or whatever) to pop up. The grandmother did not like this one bit. She moved the toy away from Presley. Each time she moved it he followed it. This happened three times. Then she said to him 'Nicholas is playing with this'.

Can you feel my hackles rising?

This was not strictly true. Nicholas was crying and he wasn't actually playing with it. She was trying to encourage him to play with it.

Anyway.

I can see that from where she was sitting Presley was playing with the toy she had chosen for Nicholas, but I didn't think he was doing any harm. He hadn't taken it away from Nicholas, in fact he was playing with it upside down, so the baby had the best view of the dragonfly (or whatever).

Children take toys from other children all the time. The grass is always greener. If another child is playing with a toy it must be infinitely more interesting than the hundreds of other toys at playgroup. I encourage sharing and I'm trying to teach Presley (and Cash too) that snatching is wrong.

So was my little boy in the wrong? Should the grandmother have been so possessive over the toy that does something?

I don't think so, but hey, I didn't get the email!

For Crying Out Loud!

Playgroup Revisited

I hadn't been to a playgroup in a church hall for 35 years, so today was a big day for me and my two boys. I've been building up to this for a while now. I wasn't really sure what to expect so there was fear of the unknown, but the main reason for putting it off was the time 1.15 to 2.45. This is nap time. The toddler (21 months) and the baby (9 months) both have a nap after lunch. It's the only time I have to myself during the day!

I wanted to take the boys somewhere we could all socialise. Having two babies so close together has made it difficult for me to take them both to the same group and I was feeling slightly isolated and in need of adult conversation.

I had decided to go to this playgroup in particular as it is where the boys will go to nursery and it is the closest, only a five minute walk away. So we had a slightly early lunch and headed off. I eventually found the correct entrance and bravely marched in. There were only two women and a child in there (being early is one of my things)! I announced "I'm new" and the playgroup leader gave me a quick briefing, took my pound, then I was left to my own devices.

I'm guessing this is a typical playgroup set up: loads of toys on a central rug, tables of activities, and chairs around the edge of the room. I let the toddler loose and off he ran and started playing. He has been a shy child so it was wonderful to see him getting stuck in, especially when the room filled with adults and children.

Then I had a dilemma - where should I sit? Now I know I'm not alone in this, please read Kim's wonderful blog about not knowing where to stand (and getting a decent haircut). I thought the baby would have a sleep so I left him in the pram and parked it at the end of a row of chairs and sat down next to him. Then I watched all the new arrivals come in and sit nowhere near me. I'm no yummy mummy, but I only have the one head. I realised one group of mums must be friends, dare I say a clique? They all looked like they belonged together; all fake tans, short T-shirts, sleek hairdos and makeup. I have none of these.

Then, hurrah, one mum sat five chairs away, on her own. She looked quite shy too so I made the first move and said 'hi'. She was quite new to the group and we had a lovely chat about children - thank goodness we had something in common! She is nine months pregnant, so she may not be at playgroup next week, but I hope she is. I didn't even ask her name, but her three year old is Eddie, I love this name!

It was time for a cup of tea (or a brew as they call it up here). I realised the baby wanted to know what was going on and did not want a sleep, so I took him to play on the mat. I sat on the periphery of the yummy mummies, hoping to catch an eye, maybe smile at another baby, but this was denied by one of the mums turning her back and closing ranks. Now I don't know if this was deliberate, but it ruled out getting to know her or her friends. At least I had the baby to play with and the toddler to watch.

I was pleased to be there, the boys enjoyed themselves and I did speak to a few people when we sat down at the end for songs and nursery rhymes. I even got a bit emotional when we sang 'Happy Birthday" to one little girl - I don't know why, maybe I was emotional at finally plucking up the courage to start at playgroup.

The downside of course was the fact that the boys didn't have an afternoon nap. The toddler in particular looked shattered and didn't want much tea.

Will I go again next week? Yes I will. It's good for all of us. Now I know the ropes I'll make an effort to talk to the other loners (well everyone who isn't a yummy mummy) and see if I can make some friends. It's easier to make virtual friends in blogging or Twitter than it is in real life, well it is for shy old me anyway.

Playgroup Revisited