Have you ever been to Graceland?

Six years ago today I was sat in my childhood bedroom. The carpet was still an acrylic mixture of browns and buffs designed not to show the dirt (or the backs of earrings). The bedroom door still didn't close properly. If you wanted to sleep with the window open you had to wedge the door either side with jeans and a t-shirt to stop it banging in the wind. In the cupboard over the stairs 'I love John Taylor IDST' still showed through two coats of white paint.

Dad was downstairs, watching television. 'Are you being framed' (sic) probably, or 'Watchdog'.

I was sifting through the responses to my internet dating profile, thinking it would be nice to go on a date. A night out would be fun. I'd spent too many quiet nights in. Dad wasn't well enough for me to look for somewhere else to live, but neither was he that poorly that I had to stay in with him every night. I especially didn't need to be in when Phil and Ken came round and the three of them talked at each other for a few hours while they drank gin and tonics and ate Fruit and Nut.

I logged into the 'chat' section of the dating website for the first time. New chat windows were opening up faster than I could look at them. Paul said 'Hello', Dave said 'Hi', Chris said 'Hi', Rob said 'hi' (how hard is it to find the shift key?), then Andy asked 'Have you ever been to Graceland?'.

I didn't even look at his photograph or profile at that stage. We just started chatting about freaky waxworks in Country and Western museums. I closed all of the other windows down. Andy was intelligent, funny and on my wavelength. We exchanged email addresses.

Reader, I married him.



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Have you ever been to Graceland?

What is Love?

With Valentine's Day just around the corner I have been thinking a lot about love. I've decided to write about my love for my husband, Andy. I am dedicating this post to him. Don't worry, love, I've bought you some chocolates too! x


What is love?


That fleeting look you exchange with your husband when you are in public. The one that means did they really say that? We must talk about this when we get home.


The supportive shoulder stroke that means I know you're having a tough day, but I'm right behind you and as soon as I finish work I'll take over and entertain our children.


The glistening eyed smiles when, together, you witness the first steps of both of your children.


Being able to be yourself totally and completely. No embarrassment. No awkwardness. Being able to relax in each other's company.


Watching a father encircle two toddlers in his arms to read them The Gruffalo. Seeing their three heads bowed over the well-loved book and hearing the father do all the voices. Who knew The Gruffalo sounded like the late snooker commentator, Ted Lowe?!


Supporting each other's dreams and goals by finding ways to make them happen.


Having to pause a documentary twenty times to discuss what is being said. No raised voices. No one losing their temper.


Reading a poem your husband has written you and crying tears of joy and admiration.

Someone offering to clean the bathroom so you can spend more time having a bath than cleaning it.

Making time for each other, especially when you have children. Making sure life doesn't get in the way of your relationship.

What is love?

Laughing together
Singing together
Dancing together
Crying together
Being together

I heard this today and thought of you, Andy, my love.










Photo Credit

What is Love?

Birthday Boys

It's a big weekend in the Calico household. Not only is it August Bank Holiday Weekend and threatening rain, but it is also the most expensive weekend of the year for me so far.

Cash is one today, Andy is forty on Monday and Presley is two on Tuesday.

We've allocated three separate spaces for birthday cards and Andy's Mother has made cakes.

Andy and I travelled down to London on Thursday for a night out with friends. This was the first time I had spent a night away from Cash and only the second time I had been apart from Presley. The first time was a year ago when I was in hospital giving birth to Cash. I cried when I kissed them goodbye. I knew they would be fine with their grandparents, but it was still difficult to leave them.

There was a moment on the train when I felt like the old me. I was reading a book and listening to my MP3 player, looking forward to my first glass of wine. Then I felt guilty. It felt wrong to be child-free because I am a mother now. I wondered whether it was to soon to phone home, just to make sure the boys were okay. I stopped myself and resolved to relax and enjoy myself.

We arrived in sunny London. We had a lovely meal with our hosts Paul and Dez and then ventured into town. We had a few drinks and some good conversation with friends in a pub in Soho. At 11pm we made our way to Karaoke Box. This was quite appropriate as Paul and Dez had just returned from their honeymoon in Japan. I love Karaoke Box. Apparently I sound like Debbie Harry. Who knew?! Andy dedicated a couple of Elvis songs to me. Ah (wipes tear away). We ended with a jolly (okay, pi**ed up) version of Bohemian Rhapsody, followed by the definitive Virginia Plain.

The next morning we woke at 7.30. It was difficult getting back to sleep, even though this was our only opportunity for a lie in EVER (well, in the last year anyway)! I had a headache and a sore throat, but it was worth it.

Having a day away from my everyday life gave me a chance to reflect. I took out some photos of my boys. They are the most beautiful, amazing creatures. My goodness, they're ours. Andy and I made these two new people. I couldn't wait to get home.

***

Warning, the next part of this post is sentimental.

Andy

You'll be forty very soon. They say life begins at forty. For me though, life began on 18th March 2006. This was the day we met. I'm not sure about love at first sight, but love certainly followed fairly quickly. I wrote a bit about it here.

With you I can be myself.

I'm comfortable, but I don't want to take you for granted. When I apologised to you for putting on weight, you immediately replied with 'I love you unconditionally'. I am so lucky to have met you.

You are a wonderful husband and an amazing father. I love you.

Presley

My first born. My special boy.

You melt my heart when you smile. You break my heart when you cry.

I remember when we brought you home from the hospital. I stood with you in my arms and wondered what do I do now? I sat down and looked at you and felt a thunderbolt. I had never felt such over-whelming love before.

I feel such pride watching you grow in confidence. You love life and you love to laugh.

You are my sunshine.

Cash

Before you were born I was worried I wouldn't have enough love for a second baby. I needn't have worried. I didn't get the thunderbolt with you, it was more a gradual realisation that I had fallen head-over-heels in love with you.

You are always ready to smile and what a giggler! I see you grow and change every day.

You have taught me that I can relax and still be a good mother.

You are my little poppet.

***

So, what are we doing today?

Andy has taught Presley and Cash to say 'Ding Dong' in the style of Leslie Phillips. I'm not sure I should be encouraging this, but if you can't beat them, join them! Well, hello....

Birthday Boys