10 September 2014

Anti Social Media


Enjoy this blast from the past while you're reading. All will become clear...




Over the summer holidays I unplugged. This post about turning off electronic devices and spending summer outdoors struck a chord with a lot of people. It was picked up by Child Psychiatry UK and was also Netmums' Blog of the Week.

We did have a good summer. The boys enjoyed soccer camp. We had days out at Gullivers, the Milton Keynes beach, Pirate Golf, soft play, local parks and friends' houses. We had a jolly week in Hunstanton and spent a very long, very full, weekend at my in laws. We saw my mum too. We celebrated birthdays. We got new shoes. Okay, that last bit wasn't fun, but you get the idea. We were busy. We got plenty of fresh air. I took my book into the garden, not my phone. I only did a tiny bit of work in the evenings.

Now the boys are back at school - Year 2, oh my - I have time to get back to my online life. I'm finding it difficult to come back. That first tweet, that first Facebook update, that first Instagram felt difficult. Does anyone else feel slightly uncomfortable after a social media break? Joining back in is a little daunting.

When I was young, the end of the summer holidays was signified by the arrival of the fair on our village park. My brother and I would watch from our bedroom window as the the waltzer and the dodgems arrived on the backs of brightly painted trucks. We'd shout down to Mum with minute by minute updates. We'd go back to school on the Wednesday and the fair opened that night. We'd go for a look round then, to see what was there. We would usually go properly on the Thursday night, holding a handful of 10 pence pieces. I can smell the onions cooking, see the red, blue, orange, green and yellow flashing light bulbs, feel the force of the rickety rides and hear 'Feels Like I'm in Love' by Kelly Marie, like it's yesterday. We'd come home with our friends, holding a half-dead goldfish, a battered bag of candy floss and a half-eaten toffee apple.

Now the end of summer is marked by a back to school blaze of photographs of children in their too big school jumpers, stood outside front doors. Pinterest is full of autumn crafts, Halloween nonsense, bonfire toffee recipes and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. And don't get me started on the Ice Bucket Challenge. It's all a bit too look at me in your face for me (apart from the back to school photographs, I love those).

Last year September to December flew by as I fitted in preparing for my family Christmas, with PTA duties and my freelance work. It's a busy time, but I want to enjoy the run up to Christmas this year. I want to have time to decorate the house, make cards, decorations, wreaths and gingerbread houses without feeling like I'm up against it all the time, like it's a chore, a job to get ticked off the endless to do list. Something has to give, and I now know what it is. My online life.

A couple of years ago I wrote a post called What is the Point of Social Media? Revisiting it today I realise that I still feel that way. I'm not that active online, although I can spend hours quietly nosing around blogs and bloggers, news websites and Pinterest. I often feel like this is wasted time, when I could be more productive. Perhaps it's time to keep the laptop closed more often and for longer?

Is is just me? Am I just being anti-social?

Do you have the balance right? I'd love to know how you do it.



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24 comments:

  1. I've been feeling a lot like this, and having many offline days during the Summer only cemented the feeling and made me realise that as much as my online life has brought to my life, sometimes I am happier off. Facebook has brought me to tears quite a few times (only in recent months) as my confidence has been rock bottom, and when offline I am my old self. Striking the right balance is tough and the hubby nearly banned me from Facebook. I nodded ALL the way through this post and mentally said "I hear ya" quite a few times, but not at the Xmas bit as I have never decorated my own cards or made a Gingerbread House. But I suppose I could always give it all a try this year :-) xx

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    1. @New Mum Online, it's hard sometimes to ignore the bickering and nastiness that happens online. I never get involved and I'm happier when I realise it has passed me by. If people annoy me or make me cross I mute them.
      You must have a go at a gingerbread house, it's really easy and great fun x

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  2. Yes I do sandy am fed up with it want to keep it to work only feel im missing something

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    1. @Becky, that's it, fear of missing out keeps me lurking too x

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  3. I hear you - it is disappointing more than it is interesting. It can be wonderful but it can also be a pain in the bum.

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    1. @Gemma, unfortunately you have to scroll through pages of the disappointing to get to the wonderful. I did find some joy today though as I read a FB thread where people were competing to find the best Keanu Reeves pics :)

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  4. I can easily go all week without going onto Twitter or Instagram these days. Like you, I spent a lot of the summer unplugged, just enjoying being with my daughter, though I did tweet the odd holiday snap!
    I hope you get the balance right, but when you do, let me know your secret!!

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    1. @Tinuke, it does sound like you have some balance in your life already. I will let you know if I ever find the secret :)

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  5. You are definitely not being anti-social, it sounds as though life has different plans for you at the moment. I must admit the appeal of Twitter has dwindled for me a bit. Maybe you'll come back to it someday but I think the most important thing is to be able to spend as much family time as possible and to only do what makes you happy.
    I'm sure I've told you before...it was down to you that I started blogging in the first place (over 5 years ago now!) so please don't disappear completely. :) X

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    1. @Cherished By Me, amen. Doing what makes you happy has got to be the answer. You had told me before :) I won't disappear. I still jot down ideas for blog posts six times a day, sadly not many of them make it onto the blog x

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  6. I think you are right - especially about the run up to Christmas not being enjoyable but a tick off list

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    1. @Pinkoddy, perhaps we should start now, we may then be ready for xmas this year...

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  7. I am so with you on this? I stepped back this summer and I kept clearing out my inbox quite ruthlessly. I struggled to get back in, I'm still struggling in fact. Not sure how to find the perfect balance however one thing for sure us I won't be driving myself insane this autumn

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    1. @Mari, as there seem to be a lot of us feeling the same way, I'm sure we all understand that we can't be on all the time, so we make allowances x

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  8. I know what you mean! I can't possibly do everything and still have time to enjoy my family so I gave up (more or less) Twitter and abandoned any hope of mastering G+

    Now I just do what I want and not what I feel like I should be doing and I'm much happier x x

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    1. @Cass, that's it, just do what makes you happy x

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  9. I'm finding it harder and harder, and it seems like the effort you need to put it increases with time. I love it and hate it in equal measures.

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    1. @Jean, I guess you have to take the rough with the smooth, but some days there can be little reward. Other days you learn something, save money or laugh until you cry x

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  10. Yes - another here who feels the same! I took an almost complete break over the Summer, although I did peek at Instagram a bit. It can get overwhelming. Trying to get back into Twitter, it feels like a fast flowing stream and you just have to jump back in. My break was compounded by losing my Dad in the Summer and retreating from it all.
    I do love looking at crafts and makes and recipes still but most of the time I'm in my bubble.

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    1. @Alison, yes there is so much out there that it is overwhelming. I think you have the right attitude, look at the stuff you like.
      I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care xx

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  11. I'd love to find the perfect balance! For me, it's easier to step back from Twitter, as so much of what I see is not that interesting (maybe I am just not following the right people!) but I do check in on FB every day. Even on hols, I would have a look. I wouldn't be scrolling up and down all day, but I'd definitely have a little peek to see what my friends were up to.

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    1. @Grenglish, so sorry for the late reply. I think you've got it right. Keep an eye on what people are up to, but leave it at that sometimes.

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