10 February 2014

Taking Control

'Before' and 'During', there is no 'After' yet...

As I continue on my weight loss journey, I realise that my focus has changed.

When I first met Dawn a couple of years ago, I was morbidly obese and desperate to lose weight. This desperation didn't stop me eating cakes, chocolate, biscuits and ice cream though. What I really wanted was a magic wand.

There is no magic wand. In addition to Cognitive Hypnotherapy (disclosure, some of it has been provided  free of charge) I have been going to Slimming World for sixteen months. Sometimes I have struggled to stick to the healthy eating plan, mostly when I saw it as being on a 'diet'. How I hate that word. I have stuck at it though, as I feared that if I stopped going to my weekly group I would put all the weight back on and then some, as I have done in the past.

Then something changed. This is all down to Dawn. She whispered something to my subconscious and it stuck. Without being consciously aware that I was doing it, I started to become more active. I started walking more, enjoying being out in the fresh air. In September I decided to try to run, just to see if I could. And I could. Since then I've been running three times a week. I've joined a gym, for icy mornings when the paths are slippy and for when it's tipping down.

This morning, as I ran my fastest 5k to date (42.48 minutes, if you must know), I started wondering what it is that keeps me running. I love running, but it's not easy. Some days are easier than others, some days it's hard work. What kept me focused today was how strong my legs felt, how there is less fat to wobble than there used to be, and how this is getting me closer to my next half stone award at Slimming World. I am on the cusp of moving from a BMI that labels me 'obese', to one that just calls me 'overweight'. I felt powerful.

Now I know how good it feels to run, to get fit, to feel my body changing. I also cycle, row and use the cross trainer too, just for fun. I enjoy feeling my muscles getting toned on the machines at the gym. I feel in control of my body for the first time in my life. I enjoy eating healthily and am starting to see food as a fuel for my body, not as a treat, or comfort, or the enemy. I don't want to eat a load of sugary fatty rubbish. I will have that stuff occasionally, but I will eat well the rest of the time. I will eat like a 'normal' slim person. That is my plan to get to a healthy BMI - and to stay there.

I am taking control of my body and my life. I will be as fit and healthy as it is possible to be. I will see my children grow up.

Biscuits are not the boss of me.

I am taking control.


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56 comments:

  1. And having seen you on Saturday - you look amazing! - confident, happy in yourself and just completely hugable! x x x

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    1. @Mary, thank you. I hope I don't ever stop being hugable xx

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  2. I absolutely don't recognise you. A-mazing

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  3. Sandy you look totally amazing! well done x

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  4. You're amazing! And you look FABULOUS!! And the most important thing is that you're doing it for you and no-one else x

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    1. @Nickie, thank you. Yes, the reason for doing it is key x

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  5. Oh wow, that is fantastic, you have done so amazingly well.Totally inspirational.

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    1. @Joanne, thank you. I don't feel inspirational. I'm still surprised that I've got this far.

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  6. Well Done! You look amazing! I'm struggling a bit with my SW at the mo and reading this has given me a boost. You are an inspiration xxx

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    1. @MamaSyder, thank you. I do like SW and it does work. I think I'll be going to group forever! xx

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  7. Sandy that is awesome! Well done you. I'm 4 months into my sw journey and you are right if you think of it as a diet it makes it so much harder.
    Love that you are exercising and best of all enjoying it.
    xx

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    1. @Seasider in the City, thank you. Yes, you really do need to make permanent changes to your eating. If you treat it as a diet I don't think it can work long term xx

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  8. You really are an amazing lady. I shared a quote on my Facebook page the other day "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it going to be worth it" You are proof of that :)

    https://www.facebook.com/ThinkChangeBecome

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    1. @Dawn, that is so true (the quote, I mean). It certainly isn't easy, but I am determined now :)

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  9. So much love to you. I feel all burstingly full of pride. Big cuddle xxxx

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  10. It was so fab to see you on Saturday and I'm delighted that you have made the changes you wanted to make for you. You're an inspiration Sandy (and you give good huggage too) xxx

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    1. @Chris, it was fab to see you too. xx

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  11. Awesome! So very inspiring and I feel really happy for you. :)

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  12. Amazing Sandy. I can hear how empowered you feel through your writing, and it's amazing to read. x

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    1. @Gappy, thank you. Yes, I'm learning to like the new me. I didn't recognise her at first x

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  13. You are looking FANTASTIC! I definitely need to follow your lead. Well done Sandy xx

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  14. You look absolutely amazing, Sandy. What a transformation and you did it all by yourself x

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    1. @Carolin, thank you. I've been surrounded by supportive people, that has helped x

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  15. Oh Sandy - you are amazing!!

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  16. Total. Feckin'. Legend. Both of you. Great job Sandy. Keep going until you get your Happy Ever After (see what I did there?)

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    1. @Kelly, thank you. There most certainly will be a happy ever after. I'm not going to have to do this again :)

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  17. You are absolutely awesome, Sandy! Much love, Dxx

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  18. Wow, you look amazing. Can't wait to see that after photo!

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    1. @PhotoPuddle, thank you. Me too. Watch this space...

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  19. Wow Sandy. WOW! It's been a while since I saw you and to be honest if I came across you now I'm not sure I would recognise you. You are amazing. A simply fantastic story of strength and courage. Vix x

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  20. @Vix, aww bless you, what a lovely thing to say. All I've really done is eat better and move more, but I guess it hasn't been easy and I've stuck at it x

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  21. The change is amazing, both the outward result and the inner thought processes. Am so proud if you. Bloody well done misus. And a good kick up the bum to me to get back out there and start running.

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    1. @Not from Lapland, thank you. The internal stuff is the most interesting. The more I run and think about being healthy, rather than thin, the more I think I won't ever go back to my old eating habits. Get those trainers on ;)

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  22. Ohh wow Sandy, so very pleased for you. I just love that Biscuits are not my boss'. Mich x

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    1. @Mich, thank you. I've completely resisted the call of the biscuit tin for months now. Long may it last x

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  23. You are clearly in control. It's not an easy thing at all, well done you!

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    1. @Cartside, thanks, I am at the moment. Long may it continue...

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  24. Absolutely fantastic, so happy for you. You look great! Would love if you joined my #FitnessTuesday sometimes ;) http://allbabyadvice-blog.com/index.php/2014/04/fitnesstuesday-6-weeks-before-the-prague-marathon/

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    1. @Mirka, thank you. I will. I'm planning on writing more on my fitness/health journey.

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