I'm not really Sandy Calico.
I don't mean I'm really a shy seventeen-year-old girl who has invented an amazing* fantasy life from her basement bedroom. Neither am I a fifty-seven-year-old man who has grown tired of watching porn and thought he'd have a crack at blogging as he'd heard you get sent free stuff.
No, the name Sandy Calico is an invention. It's not my real name. It's an alias, a pen name. It's the name I have always used online. It's more of a conventional name than, say, FunnyGrrl82, but it's fake all the same. It's why I'm not on Google+ (because you have to use your real name), well, that and I really don't need any more distractions.
The main problem with being known by a false name is when someone wants to send you a cheque and doesn't read your invoice. I haven't got a bank account in the name of Sandy Calico, so I've had to return a couple of cheques and ask for them to be re-issued in my real name. I can live with this, but I had a bit of a kerfuffle this week with the Royal Mail.
We've recently moved house again. I went back to the interim place, that we're still responsible for to the end of the rental agreement, to collect the post. There was a card from the Postman. He couldn't deliver a package to Sandy Calico because it needed a signature.
This gave me a dilemma. I wasn't expecting anything from a PR, but I had to know what it was. If I'd rearranged delivery to the interim house, I'd have had to sit in an empty house from 7am to wait for the Postie. Not much fun with two little boys. The only other alternative was to have the package redelivered to our local Post Office for a fee of £1.50. Despite this fee I was still curious, so I arranged for a redelivery.
Anyone still awake? This is turning into a saga.
I went to the Post Office yesterday. I had to explain to the woman behind the counter that I had ID for my real name and I could prove that I lived at the old address, but that Sandy Calico was my pen name and I only had business cards in that name.
She took my ID and eyed me suspiciously. "So, Sandy Calico is your 'pen' name?". She may as well have said 'poo' name. I don't think the sneer left her face until we were out of the Post Office and half way home.
The package? I won't keep you in suspense much longer. It was a thank you from Three for being their lead Manchester blogger in the recent time-saving app competition. The winning app was designed by one of my favourite bloggers, Jax, and her Ipswich Team, congratulations to them. I can't wait to download the app when it's launched.
So, what did Three send me?
Well, I think they used to be cookies. It's okay, I can
*Okay, so I exaggerated a little. My life is only occasionally amazing!