30 December 2010
I did a lot of bargaining yesterday with a God I don't believe in.
As I drove two year old Cash to hospital with suspected H1N1 Swine Flu I was prepared to give anything and everything for my baby to be well.
It sounds a little over-dramatic now, as he is much improved, but my thoughts were tortured with images of watching him struggle to breath. I watched my brother's lungs stop working and I watched my Dad's heart fail. I was not going to watch my baby die.
As an asthmatic myself I know the discomfort and terror of not being able to breathe. Cash was having difficulty breathing yesterday. His burning body, rapid rasping breaths, heaving diaphragm and lethargic whimpers were enough for me to brave the GP's receptionist and demand an emergency appointment.
The GP said the words I'd feared, that we had to go straight to hospital. I'd already put a change of clothes, water and a muslin in my bag for Cash, just in case. My first trip out after almost two weeks of being snowed in and we're off to the pediatric assessment unit.
Then my brain clearly demonstrated that my migraines are stress related. Great timing brain. I had to ignore my symptoms and concentrate on my little boy.
I willed my darling Cash to get well. I had a lot of time to do this. I spent hours perched on hospital chairs cradling him. These hellish hours were punctuated by nurses treating him with paracetomol, ibuprofen and ventolin. He eventually relaxed, his temperature fell from 39 to 37 degrees and his breathing improved.
Cash's request of 'I want to go home' finally paid off. Armed with antibiotics, tamiflu and ventolin and instructions to stay away from the 'at risk', we came home.
He's not out of the woods yet, but he's been playing this morning and asking for food - so different to yesterday. I have the mother-in-law of all headaches and a fistful of new grey hairs, but my boy is home.
We had a lovely Christmas Day, but since then have been nursing poorly children. Not quite as festive as I'd hoped, our main aim now is avoiding hospital. Roll on 2011.