Yesterday was a big day. It was a day of highs and lows.
Let me set the scene: it was hot and sticky. The boys wore nothing but their nappies. The windows were open, but there was no breeze. I couldn't leave the doors open as Presley would be out in the garden causing chaos and I couldn't supervise him and cook etc. at the same time. With hindsight we should have all gone outside with factor 50 and the garden hose on spray and not bothered with the cooking. More of that later.
It was a monumental day for ten month old Cash. If was a day of firsts:
- His first tooth finally broke through.
- He crawled for the first time following a week of rocking forwards and collapsing on his tummy.
- He cruised along the sofa for the first time.
- He pulled himself up to standing in his cot for the first time, played with the spinning balls at the end of his cot and laughed at me when I told him he was supposed to be sleeping!
- He gave me a toy when I asked for it for the first time.
All of these moments brought me joy and immense pleasure, but I don't really have a little baby any more. *Sigh*
I hated myself yesterday too. Presley was in a foul mood. He drank so much of his cousin's juice so he didn't want any lunch. He normally only drinks water, why did I let him drink her juice? Too late now! Cash and I were eating sandwiches, so I put Presley in his high chair and he screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I took him up early for his afternoon nap. He slept for two hours he must have needed it.
I took Cash up for a nap, but a combination of the heat (28 degrees in his room) and his new-found skills meant that I was running up and down the stairs trying to settle him. In the end I gave up and brought him back downstairs. When he finally seemed tired I tried again. He slept. And Presley woke up.
This meant I didn't get a break at all yesterday. I'd finally synchronised their naps to give me a bit of time to myself in the day. I didn't get it yesterday. I was tired, hot, fed up and grumpy.
I'm sure Presley picked up on this. Every time I told him off he howled. I don't want to be telling him off all the time and I certainly don't want to make him cry, but he kept doing things that he knows he's not allowed to do. He was banging cupboard doors, pouring his water on the carpet, snatching toys from Cash and, my real bugbear, throwing food on the floor.
I thought 'I want to go home'. Then of course I realised that I am home. I have to admit it got on top of me and I had a little cry. I felt horrible.
How self-indulgent of me.
I pulled myself together and sat down and played with Presley. He asked what colour every crayon was, every time he used it. I didn't mind. We were playing together calmly. The afternoon was definitely improving. I got Cash up and they had a bit of tea. Then they played together. Cash pointed at the TV, Presley turned it on for him. Peace and quiet courtesy of CBeebies!
For a short while I sat and watched my two nappy clad boys. I looked at the backs of their golden heads sat in front of the TV and nearly wept for joy.
I am home. My boys and their Daddy are my life.
After a tough day when I wondered 'what were we thinking?' (Well, two under two is hard work). If this wasn't enough Andy and I had been rehearsing for our gig. We were going to perform two songs that we had written at an open mic night in Preston. Again I wondered 'what were we thinking?'
I was nervous, but it was over in a flash and we had a lovely evening. Here it is in all its grainy glory - apologies for the quality of the video!