Finally...

We've bought our forever home.

We completed the day I headed down to London for Cybermummy. I had my hands on the keys, but couldn't do anything with them. The following day, while I was at the conference, Andy sent me a photo of Presley and Cash who had taken Monkey and Big Teddy to see the new house. I missed this and it made me homesick, for a place I've only looked round a few times.

We physically move in on Thursday. I'm completely unprepared, but we will muddle through. Also, the removal company are packing for us so that's one less thing to worry about. Then we'll be in our new home.

We decided to move from Lancashire in October 2009. We have been in limbo since then, but no more. We can finally put down new roots, get involved in the local community, unpack, leave everything in boxes until we need something, decorate, not decorate, buy furniture, make do and just be.

I can already feel the tension and uncertainty slipping away.

We still have our rental house for another three months, so that's two lawns to cut, two hedges to trim and two lots of weeding, but we can live with that.

We're NEVER MOVING AGAIN.



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Finally...

Treasure

Moving house is a strange experience. 

Every time we move we say never again.

Every time we move we attempt a de-clutter.

Every time we move we say we will NOT pay a removal company to move our rubbish.

Then, when we're sorting through our 'stuff', these ice cream tubs appear.

They date back to the 70's and 80's. They are filled with treasure. The kind of treasure that fills you with nostalgia and longing for people and places that are no longer there. 

I slide my hand through the marbles, rolling the china boulders between my fingers. My brother and I used to play marbles carefully, not wanting to damage these beautiful glass spheres. We never played for keeps. Now they're all mine.

These crayons smell amazing. I remember getting wax under my fingernails as I covered piece after piece of paper with patterns, the same patterns I doodle now.

Finally, a tub of teenage treasure. My badge collection. I never collected anything whole-heartedly, but I managed to amass quite a few badges over the years.

Oh how I loved Adam Ant. Loved. Completely.

So what did we do with these tubs?

That's right. I couldn't throw them away. We paid Pickfords to move them for us. Again.




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Treasure

How to Move House with Small Children

We’ve moved home, to a smaller house. We’re still playing the sliding block game with Pickfords boxes.

I will fit everything in. I WILL!

The main thing is the boys are settling in well. Moving house can be daunting at any age, but some pre-schoolers simply don’t like change. In all the upheaval of de-cluttering and packing, the routines you’ve spent months putting in place can be messed around with or forgotten.

Here is the Baby Baby guide to moving house with small children. This is what worked for us.

Preparation

Tell your children what is going to happen. Start gently a few weeks before the move and keep mentioning details of the move when you can. Reassure them that they will be taking all of their belongings with them. Answer their questions and be honest. They can take it. No, this isn’t the last time you’ll see grandma and grandad, but we won’t see them for a while. 

Let them say their goodbyes

They need some closure. An end before a new beginning. Give them time to say their farewells to the house, to the garden, to playgroup, to the local shop if they want to.

Let them pack a bag

Children like to copy you, so let them do their own bit of packing. Make sure they have their favourite teddies and toys in a small bag that travels with you in the car. When you move in they can unpack and will have something to play with straight away while you concentrate on getting that heavy sideboard in the right place while there are burly men around!

Get someone to have them on moving day(s)

Make it a holiday for them. Yes, you want them to be safely out of the way, but you don’t want them to feel pushed out. Presley and Cash’s grandparents took them to our (old) local wetland centre one day and let them dig in the dirt the next. I understand there may have been large quantities of chocolate consumed, but I’m turning a blind eye this time.

Take photographs

We were able to show Presley and Cash all of our worldly goods being loaded into an enormous removal van. They could see what was happening step by step, even though they weren’t there. This reassured them that all was going to plan.

Let them explore the new place

Stop what you’re doing and go round the house and garden with them. So, you unpack the casserole dishses tomorrow instead of today - so what? Ask what do they like about the new house? What don’t they like? What can you help them with? Try to make it as fun for them as you can – even if you feel in utter turmoil and the kettle has gone walkabout.

Familiarity

Do what you can to set up a few familiar areas in the new house as quickly as possible. Obviously their bedrooms are important, but also where you eat, where they wash, nappy changing and CBeebies will help them to settle in quickly.

Listen to them

Children may not always articulate their feelings, but we could see that three year old Presley wasn’t himself for a while. He became a little withdrawn and teary before the move. We did our best to comfort and reassure him, but it turned out that he was distraut that he wouldn’t see the flowers in our old garden again. On our first day a the new house we quickly found a pot and asked him what he would like to plant in there. He said potatoes, well, actually he said ‘patotoes’, but that’s neither here nor there. We changed his focus from the past to the future. Now he can’t wait to go to the garden centre.

Moving house is stressful, but it is also one of the most exciting things you can do. Moving house with children is an experience, but with a bit of forethought it needn't be a disastrous one.

Oh and if all else fails, offer chocolate buttons!





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How to Move House with Small Children

Mother's Day Came Early

This morning Presley was at pre-school and Cash was playing quietly with his brother's toys. I was trying to notify service providers of our impending house move. I found myself getting increasingly frustrated by automated telephone systems. I either didn't have the correct account number or I couldn't find the correct telephone number to call in the first place or after ten minutes on hold the line went dead. I had to hang up time after time, tears of frustration gathering in my eyes. How hard should it be to inform a business of your change of address? Oh and don't even get me started on the telephone provider! By pick-up time I had successfully ticked off just four from my list of twelve.

Moving house is a difficult and stressful time.

I'm upset for Presley having to leave his pre-school. It is so well run, the staff are mature and dedicated and clearly love the children. Today they made a variety of sweets and the baskets to put them in. Blabla (Presley's attempt at saying Barbara) asked him why he loved his mummy, to write on the gift tag. You can see from the photograph above what his response was. His proud, excited face when I walked in, the lovely gift and the beautiful words made me cry.

The sweets were edible too!

This afternoon I read a lovely post by Kelly, who had her last day at work today before going on her second maternity leave. Her last line stopped me in my tracks. I sat up in my seat and read it a few times. She asked

What do you do when your dreams actually come true?

My immediate response was to berate myself for having so little patience with the boys at the moment, for spending time away from them sorting out the house move (and checking my email, blogs, Facebook and Twitter, something I said I wouldn't do during the day *hangs head in shame*). I despaired at the fact that all I ever wanted was a family and I wasn't making the most of it. I never thought it would happen, especially as when I turned thirty six I was single. So to have a wonderful husband and two amazing children really is a dream come true for me.

Thank you Kelly for reminding me of what I have and thank you too Presley for telling me what is important in your life.

This afternoon I stepped away from the laptop, left my phone in my bag and read them stories and gave them cuddles. Bliss.

Mother's Day Came Early

Hallelujah!

"Will we take our guitars to the new house, Mummy?" asks Presley. The answer is a resounding YES.

We exchanged contracts on the sale of our house today.

At last!

I thought I'd feel relieved and I do, but I also feel nervous, sad and excited too.

We move to Milton Keynes in two weeks.

We've already packed the children:

We've got a lot to do now it's all official, but I'm sure it will all come together in the end.

We're only renting in MK, so if we find a house to buy there this summer we could be moving again in six months. Holy moly.

That's a lot of packing and unpacking and forgetting where things are. Perhaps we should get the children to arrange the furniture for us?

I expect Baby Baby may be even quieter than normal over the next few weeks. Wish us luck!

In other news...

Over on my other blog, Sandy Calico Reviews, you can read my verdict on Shloer, the dreamgenii Twinkle Tog, Boy's Treasure, Hotter Gore-tex shoes, Vertbaudet children's clothes and the Tefal Actifry.

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Hallelujah!

Limbo

I've been in limbo for some time, longer than this tree that has rested over the winter and is now ready to spring into life.

We moved from Surrey to Lancashire three-ish years ago, when Presley was a baby, to be near Andy's family. I had Cash very soon after so didn't get out much. I had moved away from my NCT group and was lonely.

We decided 17 long months ago to move back down South, for Andy's work mainly. At that time I agreed before he'd finished the sentence 'shall we move back...?'.

We de-cluttered ready to put our house on the market last summer. All the stuff that makes a house a home was boxed up and hidden in the garage. All the books and the ornaments and most of the photographs were put away. It was only temporary after all.

Since then I've been putting down roots - I had to - and made some friends through blogging, writing groups and courses and through toddler groups and Playgroup. All this time I've had at the back of my mind that we're not staying and that has made me a little sad.

My first thought when we finally accepted an offer on our house earlier this year was I don't want to leave. I will miss my new friends and it will be difficult to take Presley away from the Playgroup he loves. The boys won't see their grandparents as much. My in-laws won't see their grandchildren as much. That's hard.

We've just about decided where we think we want to live 'down South', where we want the boys to go to school. The more I google this area the more excited I get about moving. There will be more opportunities for us as a family and our 'old' friends are there too. I hope it is the right move for us.

In terms of timing, I'd like to move now or not at all. I want to be established in an area so that (with any luck) we can use our new local knowledge to choose a school for the boys. I hope we make the right choice and never have to move again, especially once the boys are settled at school.

So now I want to move, but we are still in limbo.

We're waiting for all the legal queries to be resolved so that we can exchange contracts. Once we've done that we can go and look at houses to rent. Oh yeah and our buyers need to move in at the beginning of April because they are coming out of a rental property. So we need to find somewhere suitable to live that is available now and go through the rental process quickly. We need to pack and arrange the move in the next month, with two small children.

As if that wasn't enough pressure, my mum and step-father arrive from Christchurch next month. They are flying into Heathrow airport, so I hope we've moved South by then. They'll be living with us until they find somewhere for themselves. They'll be happier living in a country that doesn't really get earthquakes. It's a massive upheaval for them and they will be leaving everything behind. In the meantime they are staying with relatives.

We are all in limbo, waiting, waiting, waiting.



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Limbo