5 September 2011
Some days I think I must be invisible.
Can you see me waiting with my heavy trolley? I'm the one with two small children who lets everyone else pass before I try to make my way through the crowded aisle. Then, as I heave the trolley forward, you step in front of me. I have to change direction to go round you. You have a single loaf of bread.
Can you see me putting my shopping on the conveyor belt? Bend, grab, stand, twist, drop, twist, repeat. Why are you piling on your carrots and your Cilit Bang and your mince? I've still got half a trolley load to go on. It will never fit into the six inches of space you have left me. I ask you to please wait. You look incredulous. Where did that small voice come from?
Can you see me here in this busy car park. We're both trying to get our children into our cars. You open your door as far as it will go. I can only open mine a notch. You don't hurry. As I finally begin to reverse out, you start to get in your car. I have to stop and wait for you, again. I make a mess of reversing and have to go forwards and back. You have your car in reverse. I worry you'll pull out. You clearly haven't seen me.
Can you see me pulling in here, waiting behind this parked car? I'm following the rules of the road and giving way to the oncoming traffic. You overtake me and make the oncoming car wait. I guess we're both invisible.
Can you see me queuing for the cash machine? I'm standing a respectful distance from the woman in front. When she leaves I step forward, but you have walked in front of me. As if I am not there.
The funny thing is, I'm not little. I certainly don't disappear when I turn sideways. I have a fuller figure. I'm a plus size. So why can't you see me? Is it because I'm not attractive? Is it because I'm just a mum?
Most people walk around in their own self-centered little bubbles. They drive like there's no one else on the road. They have no manners. They only care about themselves and this makes me very sad.
I'm bringing my boys up to be caring, kind, polite and considerate. Will I make them invisible too?