1st October
Dear diary,
The induction process is finally over, both my children are now full time schoolboys.
This is a Big Deal. I've been waiting for this day for AGES. Yes, of course I love spending time with my children, blah blah blah, but having almost six whole hours a day to myself - it's the stuff of dreams. I've been a stay at home mum for five years, my children are amazing, but by crikey they wind me up sometimes.
Presley and Cash are so ready for school, they're enjoying it too. They're socialising, making friends, playing and learning. It's all good.
But.
I feel a little odd, discombobulated. It's not just that I miss them or that they're growing up at an alarming rate, but I feel a complete loss of control.
Someone else is teaching them stuff all day. Four year old Cash told me last week that panda bears live in China and eat bamboo. I wanted to be the one to tell them all about pandas.
I know I have to let them go at some point, but I can no longer control what happens to them between 8.45 and 3pm and I don't like it. What if they're bullied? What if they get upset? What if another child teaches them to swear? What if another child tells them about Father Christmas?
It's not all bad. The teachers and lunch time supervisors have succeeded in encouraging them to eat their crusts - something we couldn't do. Not all the Other Mothers are happy about this. Following last week's Crustgate my friend now cuts her son's crusts off so he isn't forced to eat them. I asked my children whether they are made to eat their crusts. 'No', said Cash, 'I eat them before Mrs B_ asks me'. I'm fine with that.
What does concern me is that my boys will one day join the swaggering gangs from the upper school who hang out at the local parade of shops, intimidating other shoppers, smoking and dropping litter. How do I prevent that? Perhaps I should just take it one day at a time. Roll on 3pm.
.
When I started reading this I was expecting it to be about about the crusty noses that the beginning of the new academic year brings! The power of the dinner lady is a wonderful thing
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the cold season approaches *buys tissues*.
DeleteOh bless, this is such a huge step for all of you. I totally understand all of those concerns, but you're not leaving your boys to fend in the wilderness everyday - you're sending them to school which is full of PROFESSIONALS who will know how to care for them. Promise.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great mum, and be preparing them for the future you are making sure they won't join the hordes on the street corner. And so what if the teacher told them about pandas, tell them about polar bears or sharks or something else!
xx
@notSupermum, I do trust the boys' teachers and it's a wonderful school. I wasn't questioning their abilities at all, it just feels strange losing control.
DeleteIt's a difficult time for me, but I'm sure I'll adjust fairly quickly.
Thank you for your lovely comments on Twitter too :) x
Sending you hugs. And yes, take it one day at a time. I sent mine off to college this year and the not knowing is killing me (what time did he come home, did he eat any vegetables, did he drink alcohol, did he......well you get it- the list is endless). If we aren't careful we can drive ourselves crazy.
ReplyDeleteTake it one day at a time and revel in their new found independence and yours.
It's a big scary old world! But they will survive and be great IN it bc of their wonderful mama. My daughter went to Uni 2hours away. Gulp. My poor teenage boy still at home now has ALL the focus!
DeleteBut I still remember how I cried when they went to school with Other. Peoples. Children.
I've just GOT to go read up on crustgate now! I used to inwardly seethe at how the marvellous goddesslike teacher used to get my child to do something for them that I couldnt! But that soon passes!!
@Gigi, I thought of you when I was writing this, I remembered your son is away at college. It's all part of growing up and we should feel proud that they are confident enough to be away from us x
Delete@Rachel, I think you've nailed it, I'm a little jealous of the time someone else is spending with my sons. I hope it does pass :)
I remember exactly feeling this way when E started at Reception last year. I hated losing control and not knowing what his days were made of, at what time he was eating, what happened in the playground. But then I had a boy who suddenly showed more confidence and eagerness to learn. A child who was happy. So I decided that it was a good thing.
ReplyDeleteNow V has just started to and I have days when I miss them terribly but I guess that's why holidays are so brilliant :)
You will get used to it and learn to enjoy it, but today I feel like you and want to say roll on 3pm, it is also a day when I miss them...
@PerfectlyHappyMum, thank you for sharing that. My boys are already showing signs of growing confidence. They are both loving school at the moment. It's us parents who need to adjust. Still, it's only 3 weeks until half term... x
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