Jesus Christ

Are you watching the Jesuses?

The Good Lord (Andrew Lloyd Webber) is searching for superstar, Jesus Christ Superstar.

Last night was the first live show. Great, I thought. That's my weekly hour of television sorted. Then I found out that it's on EVERY NIGHT. I guess I'd better get used to the television being on every night, what with the Olympics just around the corner.

I miss Graham Norton as host. Graham wouldn't look as uncomfortable in his outfit as Amanda Holden did last night. Also he would have made more jokes. All Amanda could manage was to call the youngest competitor Baby Jesus.

The panel were pretty good value. Andrew knows his stuff, and wears natty shirts. Dawn French drooled lasciviously over the talent and made the younger contestants squirm with embarrassment. The Poundland Gary Barlow, Jason Donovan, was constructive and positive. My favourite was my mate, Melanie C. She will play Mary Magdalene opposite Jesus, so she has a vested interest in the winner. She made some great comments.

I was super impressed with the singing ability of the Jesuses. Jesuses. What a mouthful. Perhaps it should be Jesii?

My own personal Jesus from last night? Well, it's a toss up between Roger and Tim.

My bottom two? Probably, David and Afnan. I don't know how to love them.

I wonder how each Jesus is going to be eliminated? The Josephs lost their coats and the Dorothys lost their shoes. Surely ITV aren't going to crucify the losers? I'm looking forward to tonight already.

All joking aside, would anyone like to go with me to see Jesus Christ Superstar at The O2 in London? I don't think I could persuade my husband to go. The amazing Tim Minchin is in it. Let's gloss over the fact that the ghastly Chris Moyles is in it. I shall close my ears and eyes for his bits. Who's with me?

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