I don't usually write about celebrities (unless I'm at a charity event or hob-nobbing with them darling), but I felt I had two-penneth to add on the subject of text affairs.
Vernon Kay has been caught sex-texting with some page three
Some would say that this is harmless. Some would say that nothing actually happened, that he wasn't strictly (see what I did there?) unfaithful to his wife, Tess Daly.
I disagree.
Six years ago I was Tess. Well, not exactly. I was only living with someone - let's call him Colin. We had no children together, although I was a part-time step-mother to his daughter. We'd been together for three years. He had asked me to marry him. I'd said yes. I didn't mean it. He wasn't my Mr Right, he was my Mr Right Now. We had been friends for years. We should have just stayed friends.
I must have had my suspicions about him. One morning, when he was in the shower, I had a look through his phone. I found a sex-text to someone called Jeff. Of course I immediately assumed he was gay. This lasted five seconds. The texts were quite explicit after all.
I stormed off to work, taking his phone with me. I rang 'Jeff's' number. A woman answered. She didn't sound happy to hear from 'Colin'. It turned out that she was in bed with her husband when I rang. Good.
Colin and I had a massive row that evening. I told him to get out. He drove around for two hours and came home saying he had nowhere to go. I relented and let him stay. He said nothing had happened, it was just a flirtation. It was me he loved. He was sorry.
I was FURIOUS. It didn't matter to me whether this was text-sex or a full blown affair. Colin had betrayed me. I would never trust him again.
The next night we watched the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you've seen it you'll know why I decided to let Colin stay. I didn't want to be on my own either. I know, what was I thinking?!
I diligently checked Colin's phone every day. Six months later I was rewarded for my perseverance. There was a text. Colin and his fancy woman had arranged to meet for coffee.
That was it. Game over.
This is why I feel sorry for Tess Daly. I hope Vernon Kay has learned his lesson and is at home with his family eating humble pie. I give their marriage six months.
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Ohhh I am so innocent - I thought they had a nice celebrity marriage! ARSE!!!! Glad you ditched Colin. Mich x
ReplyDeleteRats. I just wrote a really long comment and it won't let me paste it in. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I agree with you.
I think think that men often think with their dick sometimes. It really others me. I have told MadDad I will walk if anything happened. he has known this for the set off
ReplyDeleteI would feel very betrayed indeed.
ReplyDeleteI'm constantly flabberghasted that people (especially celebs) think they won't get caught out.
What goes around, comes around.
I totally agree would feel betrayed by that Mr L knows he would be out the door for that!
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.
ReplyDeleteOh what a bloody silly boy. Really, what does he think he is doing? I feel for Tess and their kids, it doesn't matter he wasn't physically doing anything, the thought was there and it is the thought that counts as they say.
ReplyDeleteI like the way Brit's put it... what happens in the heart/mind is more important!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, ladies.
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ReplyDeleteCrikey, there i was all ready to call him an arse and then i read Ruth's comment. she's right of course, we don't know the real truth behind it. We don't know if she'd being doing it first, or has been abusing him -emotionally or physically- we just don't know.
ReplyDeletePush came to shove, my money'd be on him being an arse.
I'll never know why married/in relationship men think it's acceptable to text other women, email other women and so on. Essentially they are flirting, whether they admit it or not. Facebook's got a lot to answer for, too. In my book an affair is an affair even if there isn't any sex - in fact, if there's a deep emotional connection, sometimes it can be even more damaging than a physical one. And today John Terry's wife is standing by her man. Gawd help us.
ReplyDeleteMich, Arse indeed! x
ReplyDeleteSally, I apologise on behalf of Blogger. I read your tweets about it. There's no smoke without fire x
The Mad House, I'm sure he wouldn't dream of it. x
Insomniac Mummy, good point. How did he think he could get away with it?! x
And then..., let's hope he doesn't x
Veronica, thank you very much :-)
ReplyDeleteFraught Mummy, absolutely, it's the thought that counts.
The Dotterel, so true. Glad to have you with us, Tim! :-)
Ruth, I had to delete your comment for legal reasons - that sounds dramatic, doesn't it?! We have discussed this by email and while you pointed out that we don't know the full story and there are always two sides, we agreed that once the text flirting starts it means the relationship is near the end x
Heather, yep, mine too!
Liz, I totally agree. I would have been happier if Colin was having a physical relationship with 'Jeff', it was the emotional connection that upset me. x
Blimey - I think it doesn't matter about the degree of the infidelity, its the emotional cheating that is what hurts - be it being internet friends or whatever, if you are sharing more of yourself with someone outside your relationship then then you are storing up problems
ReplyDeleteThis is happening a lot and getting bigger everyday. A couple we know just went through this and I don't think their marriage will last because of his betrayal. Too bad because they have great kids.
ReplyDeleteMuddling Along, that's exactly how I felt.
ReplyDeleteMommy Daddy, oh that's such a shame, especially when there are children involved.
It is such a betrayal of trust, and trust is the foundation on which a relationship lasts. He was a fool, but we never know what goes on behind closed doors. It's always the kids who suffer most.
ReplyDeleteDiney, I know. You're right about the children, such a shame x
ReplyDeleteI couldn't believe this either, husband and I missed the news then just heard Vernon on the radio sounding really down so we had to Google 'Vernon Kay upset', how sad!
ReplyDeleteThe same happened to me years ago, I stayed for so long, knowing that I was being cheated on left right and centre. Friends even told me they'd seen him. He even did it when I was in the same club.
But I didn't leave until suddenly one day I had the strength. It takes time. And now I'm with my Mr Right its because I knew what I wanted, and what I didn't want.
Poor Tess, I think you're right.
But I hear that Cheryl has allowed Ashley back - to talk?!!
Baby Genie, once the trust has gone it's difficult to get it back. Such a shame. At least we've had those experiences so we know what we don't want!
ReplyDelete